A “HARD RESET” for myself is my new life goal. But what does the phrase “hard reset” mean in regards to my life? It means changing my mindset regarding family, friendships, and achieving a fitness level that will allow me to take all the “Bucket List” trips I have planned in the next few years.
First Step: Family First
The first step for my “hard reset” is to make an effort to spend more time with my family and actually be present when I’m with them. I realized after my Mother’s Day visit with mom that I’m not always “living in the moment” while visiting. I’ve taken for granted my parents are there. The truth is, they won’t be around in a few years, so I need to make the most of the time I have with them. The same goes for my daughter and her family as well. I want to be around to enjoy my grandchildren, but I won’t be able to do that if I’m not in optimal health and have the right mindset.
I think the above really hit home with me after witnessing someone treating her mother and daughter as after thoughts during a “girls outing”. Without going into any detail, it broke my heart to see hurt in their eyes. That day caused me to think about how I treat my own mother and daughter. Although I would never have walked away and focused on only on my own needs and wants during a “girls outing”, I have been guilty of tuning out in other ways. Therefore, I need to actively “be present” in the moment whenever I have the opportunity to be with my own family.
Second Step: Getting Fit
After taking my mom on a trip to New England in the fall for her 80th birthday ( a “bucket list” item for her), I realized that I don’t want to have to depend on my daughter or grandchildren to escort me on a trip I’ve always wanted to take. I’ve also realized, after watching my mother with her great-grandchildren, that mobility issues can rob me of some of the joy children bring us. It always breaks my heart to see the look on my mom’s face when she can’t hold a new great-grandbaby without sitting down because she doesn’t have the strength and mobility to walk with them.
In an attempt to avoid future heartaches, I’ve made my “Bucket List” and everything on it will require me to be in excellent physical condition. This means working out and eating healthier. And although I may curse Talent Nwosu (my personal trainer) while working out, I know will be grateful for him later. With his help I will be able to dog sledding and walking reindeer in Alaska, hiking the lava fields and rainforests in Hawaii, and riding a burro all day down into the Grand Canyon to spend the night at Shadow Ranch before riding the burro up the next day. However, working out isn’t enough. The saying “you are what you eat” is never more true than it is now. I have to get better about making good food choices if I am going to achieve the fitness level I am going to need to be at.
Third Step: Set Boundaries
There is a real and valid reason for the old adage “give them an inch and they’ll take a mile”. As someone that chooses to be an introvert for that very reason, I was caught off guard when I forgot that this year. Friendships in real life can be awesome. They can also leave you feeling abused and unappreciated when one friend suffers from “Main Character Syndrome” (my daughter told me about this one). I had no idea this was a thing until after events that occurred in March and April. Now I do. And to be honest, I don’t care what “level” they have reached in their rewards program or how much money they have. I am just too old to care about what others may or may not have.
Unfortunately, I am not quite sure how I will accomplish setting the boundaries since they don’t “hear” anything I say. They never hear me say “I have plans to visit my grandchildren that week” or “I prefer this over that”. They don’t hear me because all that matters to them is what they want. As long as that person is the center of attention, screw what anyone else thinks, wants, or needs. So will they hear me when I tell them about the boundaries I’m setting? No. For now, my only alternative is to ignore the incessant text messages and their social media. Do I realize I’m exhibiting my own “Main Character Syndrome” symptoms? Absolutely. But it’s my blog so I should be the main character.
Hard Reset Day
Today is the day I start the journey of actively trying to “live in the moment” with family. It’s the first day of a fitness and nutrition reset. And it’s absolutely the day to set new boundaries with people who have stopped being a joy to be around. I’m going to consider this my Bilbo Baggins moment when I decide, “I’m going on an adventure”. Because if I don’t, I may regret it later.
Second, my mom is getting older and has mobility issues. So, I went home for a visit Mother’s Day weekend. I was able to spend time with her and observe her in regards to some concerns my younger sister had. After a couple of days paying close attention to my mom, I was able to relieve those concerns since the issue related to me is a very easy fix. We, my younger sister and I, also took my mom out for a treat to 
My family is very important to me and I am very grateful that four of my five siblings are still alive. So I occasionally plan their demise. That’s what siblings do! We aggravate each other and come up with creative endings for whichever sibling is most irritating at the moment.
My daughter has always been a joy to me, and I am very blessed to have a strong relationship with her. We’ve had our ups and downs, but we have a very solid bond now. I appreciate that she has made good choices as an adult, but still needs me from time to time. I have also been blessed with a most excellent son-in-law, and two of the most beautiful grandchildren ever.
